Red Fury

It has been ordained upon me to convey a story of grand importance to you all. It is a shocking story. A stupid story indeed, but one that needs to be told lest we all make the same mistake. It is a fable about a man, his stuffed peppers and one mean red pepper.

Mitch had been happily perusing the produce section in a local grocery store. He had just been promoted at work and felt like making his favorite meal - stuffed peppers. He was examining and considering a pack of peppers: one orange, one red and two yellow.

Peppers at the time were very expensive. Only the green ones seemed to go on special. But never the other colours. In the pack he saw value and decided to buy them.

"Congratulations, sir! You picked the secret family pack! Smile!"

It was a promotional scam but Mitch didn't care.

"Here's your picture."

He looked at himself holding the peppers and he liked it.

"Your name will go into a grand prize draw at the end of the month!"

He remained oblivious.

He could not keep his eyes off the peppers while they sat in the carriage. The perfect smooth contours and their bright colours excited him. The family of peppers stared back at him.

"Ooo, I could just eat them up now!"

On the way home, he watched the peppers in his rearview mirror. It was a difficult ride for him.

It is obvious at this point during my story that Mitch had an unhealthy obsession with peppers. Who are we to judge?

Carefully, he placed his peppers on the counter. With the precision of atailor he began to weave and cut the top of the peppers. He smelled them with glee.

Normally Mitch cooks four peppers but for some reason on this day he decided on three. He figured he could use the fourth in a salad the next day. He glanced over to the sky, which was orange, and continued to prepare his meal.

Soon he was eating in ecstasy. Later that night he went to bed. He forgot to put the last pepper in the refrigerator. Let this be a lesson to you all. Never leave a pepper to roam free.

The next morning he noticed the pepper was still on the table. He did not realize it had moved three steps to the right from its original position! He was about to wrap it up but the phone rang and distracted him.

"I'll be right over."

He grabbed his coat and hat and left in a hurry.

There sat the pepper.

Suddenly and strangely the pepper spoke. "He murdered my family. I shall exact my revenge."

His tone was fiendishly evil. This pepper was scorned. It looked around the kitchen and noticed an eggbeater. He also spotted some knives, a wooden spoon and a marble rolling pin.

"Any of these will do," he chuckled.

The pepper moved but fell awkwardly to his side and was angered by what he saw. That is, the half-eaten corpse of his yellow brother. He could barely contain his emotions. He recalled the time when they were picked as a family by the farmer to be packaged off. They thought it was to be the start of something beautiful together. Instead, it ended in debauchery.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold. Not micro-waved," he said.

Mitch came back home one hour later. Once again, not being attentive, he had not noticed the pepper had moved again. Let this be another lesson. Be alert. Society and nature punishes the dimwitted.

Mitch went to bed that night with an uncomfortable sense of foreboding. He brushed his teeth and removed his pink slippers. He stared into the mirror and wondered. He did not notice the angry red fury of the pepper in the background.

"Damn, those peppers were delicious," he reminded himself as he jumped into bed.

Minutes past. The pepper waited for his moment.

"Rapid eye movement. REM. When he's there I will take his life."

With Mitch in deep sleep, the red pepper quietly and disturbingly began his ascent. He moved up to Mitch's chin like a rolling kamikaze.

"Hello!" he shouted.

Mitch opened his eyes and was soon engulfed with fear. He began to scream. Like this, "Arghh. Arghhh."

"W-who are y-you? Wh-what d-d you want?"

The little red pepper mimicked Mitch's nervous stutter. "S-s-shhh," he answered with a giggle.

Then, nothing. Blood splattered everywhere as the red pepper furiously cut Mitchell up. The blood could not be distinguished from the red pepper as the two meshed. It was a warped Dali scene.

The little red pepper held Mitch's heart in his hands. Holding the organ seemed hilarious to him.

The cold knife lay peacefully between Mitch's eyes. Minced meat and rice was scattered all over the body. The little red pepper looked back at Mitch's corpse with a smile and a tear as he quietly left the room.

He headed for the kitchen. "I got nothing," he uttered to himself.

He sat up on the counter and looked straight into the trash compartment in the sink. He looked up for a moment and jumped.

The picture taken at the grocery store lay crumpled on the table.