I passed on going to my high school reunion. Reasons for this, I reckon, were in the multiples including not having attended my convocation in the first place. So if I couldn't be moved to show up for my diploma, I convinced myself, why would I want to see people I barely remember?
It didn't help my entire gang of friends I still hang with weren't going. Who was I going to get wasted with while whistling and hollering at women?
In a manner of speaking of course. Need not worry mother.
It was with much surprise how I happened upon perhaps the real source of my absence.
Laura.
Waiting to buy batteries and radicchio, while watching slow witted sloths move about the check out line, she came into my field of vision. My heart skipped, stopped and rebooted in about five seconds. My entire life, well the part that involved Laura, whistled by me just like that. Snap!
If there were any doubts I never really moved past her this was it. Staring down at the fucking Mars bar selling for .58 cents, I couldn't believe she could still sway me in ways I could never explain.
My objective was to play keep away, pay and walk on into the sunset. Well, it was only 2 in the afternoon but the metaphor of a sunset felt artistic. It was really a mundane afternoon. Perfect for people wallowing in banal existence.
Hey, I'm happy though.
I got these batteries, you see.
My plan fell through just as I walked out the door. Thinking I was free, I put my head up and there were her eyes; looking straight into mine.
The little hamster running the circuit board in my brain must have been comatose for I could not eke out a sound, let alone a succinct, and distinct word she could decode.
"Hello, Jack."
Thank God her hamster was working.
It took my full concentration to not hold up the bag of goods in my hands with a "I bought batteries with my allowance money" gaze.
"Hello, Laura?"
Yes. Try and fake not knowing her. Sure, that will work. What a man!
"How have you been?"
Don't say, "I have been buying batteries."
"Good!"
How do you tell someone you adored to the ends of the Andes the truth in such a sudden and soon to be short encounter? Saying, "good" is about as safe and blah as can be. It reveals, a certain lack of achievement, shall we say? It tries to deceive the person while at the same time screams, "good, except..."
Whatever. I need toilet paper.
"And you?"
"Good. It's been such a long time..."
This is where my mind wanders. "It's been such a long time since I've seen you. Not a minute goes by I don't think of you; of us. What happened?"
"I know. Too long." I reply with a smile.
It was time to stand tall. One of the principle reasons why I lost her was because of my lack of confidence. She filled me with so much self-doubt it corroded any judgement I had.
Or she could have just not liked me. I forget. Memories tend to lie.
"You weren't at the reunion. I was looking for you."
It was with those final words a bolt of courage instantly surged through my body waking the hamster up.
"Any reason why?" she asked.
"Oh, shucks. I don't know. Maybe because I spent three years in agonized pain yearning to be with you? Just guessing."
It was now her turn to be speechless. Now she knows what it's like to have a deadbeat sot of a hamster.
Nonetheless, it wasn't bon methode. "I'm sorry for springing this on you. All these pent up feelings...for all this time...I..."
"I-I didn't realize..."
"See, that's the problem with us. All these feelings but no realization of anything," I replied.
A car pulls up.
"My husband."
And just like that she was out of my life again.
For E.F.
It didn't help my entire gang of friends I still hang with weren't going. Who was I going to get wasted with while whistling and hollering at women?
In a manner of speaking of course. Need not worry mother.
It was with much surprise how I happened upon perhaps the real source of my absence.
Laura.
Waiting to buy batteries and radicchio, while watching slow witted sloths move about the check out line, she came into my field of vision. My heart skipped, stopped and rebooted in about five seconds. My entire life, well the part that involved Laura, whistled by me just like that. Snap!
If there were any doubts I never really moved past her this was it. Staring down at the fucking Mars bar selling for .58 cents, I couldn't believe she could still sway me in ways I could never explain.
My objective was to play keep away, pay and walk on into the sunset. Well, it was only 2 in the afternoon but the metaphor of a sunset felt artistic. It was really a mundane afternoon. Perfect for people wallowing in banal existence.
Hey, I'm happy though.
I got these batteries, you see.
My plan fell through just as I walked out the door. Thinking I was free, I put my head up and there were her eyes; looking straight into mine.
The little hamster running the circuit board in my brain must have been comatose for I could not eke out a sound, let alone a succinct, and distinct word she could decode.
"Hello, Jack."
Thank God her hamster was working.
It took my full concentration to not hold up the bag of goods in my hands with a "I bought batteries with my allowance money" gaze.
"Hello, Laura?"
Yes. Try and fake not knowing her. Sure, that will work. What a man!
"How have you been?"
Don't say, "I have been buying batteries."
"Good!"
How do you tell someone you adored to the ends of the Andes the truth in such a sudden and soon to be short encounter? Saying, "good" is about as safe and blah as can be. It reveals, a certain lack of achievement, shall we say? It tries to deceive the person while at the same time screams, "good, except..."
Whatever. I need toilet paper.
"And you?"
"Good. It's been such a long time..."
This is where my mind wanders. "It's been such a long time since I've seen you. Not a minute goes by I don't think of you; of us. What happened?"
"I know. Too long." I reply with a smile.
It was time to stand tall. One of the principle reasons why I lost her was because of my lack of confidence. She filled me with so much self-doubt it corroded any judgement I had.
Or she could have just not liked me. I forget. Memories tend to lie.
"You weren't at the reunion. I was looking for you."
It was with those final words a bolt of courage instantly surged through my body waking the hamster up.
"Any reason why?" she asked.
"Oh, shucks. I don't know. Maybe because I spent three years in agonized pain yearning to be with you? Just guessing."
It was now her turn to be speechless. Now she knows what it's like to have a deadbeat sot of a hamster.
Nonetheless, it wasn't bon methode. "I'm sorry for springing this on you. All these pent up feelings...for all this time...I..."
"I-I didn't realize..."
"See, that's the problem with us. All these feelings but no realization of anything," I replied.
A car pulls up.
"My husband."
And just like that she was out of my life again.
For E.F.
