My Day at the Zoo

My name is Werty. I am 19 years-old and decided to go back to night school. For homework, I wrote about my trip to the zoo.

The day started when my mom, a skank, refused to sign my note clearing me to go with the class. I was mad. She was lying next to a drunk chinese black midget. I left and went to see my dad, a dim-witted idiot, and got permission from him. I once read a book called 'The Idiot.'

I don't know why my teacher wants this note, as the State deemed my parents unfit to live, let alone take care of children. Dad was licking envelopes on a city bench when I found him. He said he was onto big things with Medium Eddy. Eddy has two teeth. He swears that aliens are conducting experiments on his teeth. I'm no skeptic but I think he hovers around the universe, if you get my drift.

I got my illiterate father to sign and I left. I read somewhere that illiteracy rates are on the rise on the continent. We all got on the bus and the teacher sat next to me. I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said "Don't join the mafia. Government hates competition." and "Jesus Saves".

Saves what, I wondered out loud? What does Jesus save? I cried for a while. My teacher smelled nice. She whispered softly to me and yelled at the others.

When we got to the zoo I was amazed by the animals. I never thought tigers were that big. They scared me. Growl!

I saw all sorts of animals and my teacher kept tapping me on my bum. A yak said hello to me. For some reason, I was fixated on all their big wazoos. I touched mine for comparative examination.

At one point, I was standing in front of a goat and it began to lick me. I liked it. A lot. Then, my teacher began to lick me and I was suddenly awash in animal saliva. It was fun. I plunged my teacher next to the goat and then we all went home. The goat's fur, I think, looks healthier now.

Not to mention my teacher's skin and hair. She's pretty and I love her.